I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
