my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
