I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
