You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
