come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize