I didn't shave. On purpose
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
