Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
