Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize