I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
