Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
