Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
