i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
