areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
