I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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