hotel room ftw
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
