I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Randomize
