Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
