tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
