I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I could make wine with my vomit
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
