both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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