they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
