help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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