Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he shaved USA in his pubs
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
