I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
