WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
