We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
