these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
