Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
