Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Life is so much better after having sex.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
