belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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