Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
