Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
