i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have post one night stand depression
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