She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
