So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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