we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
