He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
