I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
