My brain says no but my pants say off.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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