Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How external is "for external use only"?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
