I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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