We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
two words...techno handjob
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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