its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
