You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
