Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
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