and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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