dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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