how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
