i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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