Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
And then my night got REAL pukey
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
