homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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