I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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