I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
