he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
